Doctor Visit

It's hard to let myself stay down too long when I reflect on what's happening in Japan. I think the one thing I have in common with that situation is dealing with the unknown. I learned yesterday that I have a frozen shoulder. Mine is not typical. I have range of motion for lifting my arm above my head and to the side, but not for tying up my hair, pulling off a T-shirt or scratching an itch in the middle of my back.
This being said, swimming is no longer something I can do. There is concern by both physical therapists (the other therapist is Sandy Bertrand, who travels to Colorado from Virginia once a month until she moves back this summer) that the activity could be setting me back. This news was not too hard to hear. I love swimming too much to be impatient.
It was the news yesterday that had more of an impact. For what I thought would be my final "post-opt" visit, I saw the only doctor I really like out of the five doctors that have been involved. Dr. Rowland is a short man, fit and has blue eyes that sparkle. I like him because he listens and understands what is important to me. Matt told me he's the only one that made an impression on him.
Dr. Rowland was the surgeon that put plates in my distal fibula and clavicle. His partner put my humerus back together. It turns out the other bones have healed, but the humerus has not. Fortunately, the screws are tight in the plate, so there is no concern that something is wrong. What this means is I cannot ride a bike outside yet. We also discussed removing the hardware and what that will entail. The hardware in my left arm will stay in. My heart sank when I started to think about what is ahead of me and still not being able to take off in motion into unknown territory with the wind in my face and adventure at my fingertips. I have not been able to find the silver lining yet with all this. I know I will in time.
I sat in my yard today for a few hours to enjoy the warm weather, fresh air, the sunshine and the hints of Spring. I made a donation to the American Red Cross for its operation in Japan. And, now I am writing in my blog. Writing can help me get my head and heart back on track. The one gem that keeps coming to me from various people is the value in right living, a sitting practice and time. Those seem to be key ingredients for healing and should not be underestimated-that's what I am telling myself today.

Four Months Out-Gratitude Abounds!

Between running, especially when I competed as an ultra runner, mountain biking and climbing I have spent countless hours on trails in and around Boulder. A hilly, rocky and narrow trail with switchbacks is my favorite kind. I would seek it out and only train on the flats for speed work or recovery.
This week my physical therapist, Laura Shove at North Boulder PT released me to hike a 'soft' trail with an incline. My right knee has not been taped since before I came down with the flu-over two weeks ago. The swelling is down and I am slowly building back muscle tone. My balance is much improved and I am not as protective or fearful of falling.
For my inaugural hike, I picked a trail head outside of Superior. The trail was like a fire road, not steep and provided an expansive view of open space and the foothills. Within fifteen minutes of starting my walk, I was bawling. I was overcome with joy and gratitude for being able to walk uphill. This unexpected response showed me an area of my life that I had taken for granted before my accident. Between the chill in the air, my own shadow and a lone coyote as my companions, I tapped into a place of utter delight. I was back in my element-truly back! In that moment, I discovered that I don't have to be in Utah, Wyoming or any place extremely remote to find bliss. If my heart is open, nature does the rest. I feel like the richest person on the planet after that experience.

Being four months into my recovery, I continue to be showered with gifts, some material and others are insights about who I am becoming. Repeatedly, I am reminded about my good fortune. This week, I received my first full on soft tissue massage that lasted over two hours. For the first time, I felt trauma and fear leave my back side. Those pesky ribs that poke against my left scapula were able to settle into a more neutral position. I am in awe of the healing energy that exists within the human body and spirit.

On the swimming front, I paid my first visit to my health club: Flatirons Athletic Club. The warm weather and a desire to see my buddies, Jane Scott (coach and friend) led to a short swim with the Masters group at the 12:30 workout. Jane made sure I had my own lane and let me do my own thing instead of the workout. I would not have been able to make any of the intervals even if I had been in the slowest lane. I did not mind being so slow. I wanted to swim outside in the fresh air. Fortunately, several of my lane mates attended the workout. I felt like a hero coming back from war (as in World War II veterans) by the welcome I received. I love being part of a community-that's something else I took for granted.
My stroke is much improved since the first time I attempted to swim. I still have A LOT of restriction with my left shoulder. I am cutting back my swim days to two instead of three times a week to make sure I am not tightening muscles that should be lengthened at this stage. Regardless, I feel incredibly content to just be in a pool right now.

This week I realized that my experience has fundamentally altered my view of what it means to reach out to strangers, acquaintances, friends and family. I have joined the ranks of being someone who had a life altering event and now know that small actions of love really do make a difference. Love is a powerful force. Now that I have graduated to driving myself to physical therapy, I appreciate even more than I already did all those people that drove me for 3 months. There were some individuals that drove me consistently the entire time. Others only once. Several were parents of my students, some were students and others were friends. Gifts were brought. Smiles, encouragement and concern was standard fare. I tried to show my appreciation each time. I know the chances of repaying them in the same way are slim and I know that what I really need to do is take in all that love. In time, I will be strong enough to give back if not to them than someone else. I am so blessed. I can't say that enough.