If you are wondering why it's been such a long time since I've posted, here is why.
I've needed time to reflect and assimilate my experiences in recovery to make sure that the valuable aspects stick to my being rather than go to my head (ego). I am ready now to try posting once a month to keep everyone up to date. I have appreciated all of the email inquiries and phone calls on how I am doing.
Back in March, I wrote about what I was not able to do and my disappointment over having a frozen shoulder. Since that time, I have learned that healing from trauma occurs in stages from gross to subtle. At times there have been weeks of no change, then what seems like out of the blue, a significant change occurs. I start to move in a way that feels very familiar. It's a sense of reuniting more with my body. My body's relentless search for homeostasis leaves me in awe. I had no idea that my body could be so strong and so determined. I continue to feel assisted by forces greater than myself. I don't have the words to give a better description other than to call it grace.
What I look now is normal. At eight months out, I have a right leg that looks more like the left one. Muscle tone and strength are starting to return. The torn ACL has yet to be repaired. My left shoulder rests on the ground better than my right one and my ribs don't hurt if I lay on the floor. I can sit without props for 10 minutes. I can scratch my back with my left hand and shave my left armpit. I can hold a plank position for 30 seconds. I can ride my bike outside for 15 minutes. I can hike a rocky trail without bracing. I can swim a few lengths of freestyle without any pain in my left shoulder and bilateral breathe. It's amazing to me that I can do all of these things now.
I continue to go to physical therapy and get deep tissue massage. Dry needling on a weekly basis seems to be helping the most. The rigidity in my neck and chest along with some restrictions still in my shoulders are my primary focus. I have great hopes for loosening up those parts of me now that I have incorporated play into the majority of my swim practice, I've returned to some childhood favorites like blowing bubbles on the bottom of the pool, dolphin dives, somersaults, handstands and underwater swimming. This is definitively a prescription for LAUGHTER!
On other fronts, I have enjoyed returning to teaching. I am amazed at how loyal my clients are and that my business is still solid. My love for teaching feels stronger than before as does my desire to be the best that I can be. New ideas continue to pop up on how to teach more effectively.
At home, the sunflowers are already taller than us and our garden is yielding an abundance of salad greens and basil. Matt is pouring time and sweat into refurbishing the deck. He removed the railing which gives up a much larger view of the open space that abuts our backyard. Between the flowers, birds, rabbits, squirrels, bees, and butterflies I feel as if we have our very own secret garden.
Next week, Matt and I are going car camping near Independence Pass. It's a new area for both of us. We hope to find cooler temperatures and quiet. I can still remember looking out the window at St. Anthony's hospital longing to be out in nature. There is something about sleeping under the stars that leaves me feeling even more in love with life than I already feel.
Once again, I want to thank everyone for caring so much about my well being. My lack of contact is not a reflection of my caring. It's strictly about what I have to do right now for myself. Recovery is very self absorbed. In time, I will be able to reach out more. Until then, please know that I appreciate the invites, emails and phone calls.
Good job! You're a trojan.
ReplyDeleteI had 5 surgeries in 5 years (none as severe as yours), and never saw a PT - I just couldn't deal with it - instead I played a lot. I think muscles rehab fairly well; it's the neurological response that is hard to bring back. To a certain degree, our bodies become what we expect, and play opens us to what that might be.