Week Ten-Highs and Lows

The highlight of the week was Doctor Wong releasing me from my cervical collar. I was so excited to be free of it that I went 24 hours without it. I'd been in a hard collar since the day I fell. I even wore a water proof one in the shower. Needless to say, my first day without the collar left me incredibly sore. It turns out I still need to wear the collar a few hours during the day and when I sleep.

I know from my work that the head plays an important part in body alignment. The weight of it alone can bring the hips to the surface to create a balanced body position in water. What I did not know was how many muscles assist in holding up the head. All week I have been very tired. Even though I fractured the transverse process of C-6, the strengthening exercises I've started with are for C-1 and C-2. 50% of neck mobility comes from there. To do these exercises properly requires that I watch myself in the mirror. My PT cautioned me to not overdo otherwise I could end up with headaches and other issues.

I thought that once I got the collar off; I would be able to kinda of swim. I knew my left arm would not be able to reach forward or even clear the water. When I went to the Louisville Recreation center, I discovered that many body parts are not in working order and all I can do right now is swim like a young child that only knows how to bob up and down. Single arm freestyle and backstroke failed. Breast stroke pull only while standing to breathe passed. Drills were too challenging. My eight minute swim workout was a humble start. I was devastated to be so far removed from a sport I love dearly. I had no idea that my starting point would be this. I've always turned to the pool for support during hard times. When my parents got divorced that's where I went every day not to train but to heal. If I feel disconnected from my spirit that is where I go. If I've forgotten how to be playful, I do handstands and somersaults in the pool. The lesson seems to be about finding new ways of coping and a new relationship to water.
Once the sadness and disappointment passed, I remembered other times when I had a daunting goal in front of me. The two times that came to mind were running 40 miles for the first time, knowing I would be doing so on a weekly basis for years and training for my first Ironman triathlon. The difference now is I am going down this path alone. There is no coach or teammate to encourage me. I have to figure out how to make my body swim again. I know I can do this. It's just incredibly humbling. I suspect this experience will make me a better swimming instructor and that's something worth working hard for.
The final note on the kitchen is it's functional and BEAUTIFUL. I am amazed by what Matt accomplished in two weeks. He only has a few final touches before his project is complete: under cabinet lighting, lighting above the sink, tile behind the stove and knobs for the cabinets. The outcome is a space that speaks of warmth, color, natural lighting, natural materials and love. I am planning to spend a lot of time cooking in an effort to eat well and keep our grocery bills down. It already is an immense pleasure to have such a beautiful environment to work in. Fortunately, the remodel only brought us closer together rather than create a strain on our relationship.
When I step back and remember how it was to be in the hospital, I've truly come a long way and so has our home!